For an effort that seems like nothing more than nothing

The weight of a snowflake is nothing more than nothing, but has the potential to be much.

I shared that with a dear friend today and tweeted it I loved it so.  This is the key to everything.  In what way can we not apply that the very smallness of every little thing has the potential to be the weight of it entirely.    

If you are struggling to move that aspiration forward you have to recognize one area that can be inched along in a small way immediately.  Take on that one thing and add it in, embrace it, and master it.  As you will soon see it will fit into your life with ease, regardless of how impacting it seems at first.  Your regular priorities can still exist while you add inches forward toward the area you are intentionally improving.  Take on one aspect to getting yourself in the goal’s direction today!

How will that help, you ask.  One snowflake size amount of effort at a time and it will be much.

Real leaders are felt

When you were the boss it felt like a team, I was recently told by one of my former employees.  I was so thankful for his words and was proud to have had a chance to work with many great people like this man.  Don’t worry I’m not about to write about how wonderful of a manager I was and make this about how missed I must be.  Actually there was one key word that he said that made me want to share it with my oldest son.

Look again at what had been said: it felt like a team.  He described my leadership in the tangible sense.  The atmosphere felt cohesive when I was the leader.  The greatest way to successfully lead people is to have them willing to follow you.  Owning the business, having a familiar last name, or having the most seniority does not establish criteria for a leader.  I worked intentionally to grow and lead a team and not to act like a positional manager.

This week my son realized he was a leader on the sports team.  One of the teammates asked him why he wasn’t the team captain when clearly he was the team leader.  With frustration my son came to me for advice on what to say to these kinds of remarks.  As he explained why the other young man appears to fall short as the leader, I asked if any feelings of resentment were being juggled.  My son admitted he was wrestling with a few mixed emotions. 

We talked for a while and he decided he’d rather be the leader others follow than the title without merit.  Unfortunately too many people would rather rest on their position than attempt to lead people who have the sense they are worthy and significant. 

So to my son and to you today, I suggest we gratefully accept the affirmation of our actions well done and do what leaders do best; refer back to why our teammate makes us stronger with praise.  

Everyday is a first day

As I prepared myself and the boys for their first day of school the conversation and emotions ran in many directions.  One part made me think of you and one of our recent conversations, sister.

With the high schooler sitting up front for the car ride still adjusting the contents of his bag and the middle schooler in the back buckled up as tall and tight as he could manage I thought of the many words we shared in the ride to and from school last year.  Teenage boys carry more than sweaty sports clothes and vibrating cell phones.  They carry the determination to rise through the relationships they encounter, both pleasing and uncomfortable.

You and I know what it is like to make it through the day with people who have disappointed us or hurt us still marching inside our path.  Going to school is no different than the rest of the world where animosity and cruelness thrive.  People who have caused us pain are often in places you and I want to go, even if it isn’t History class. 

We all have to be intentional about who we are, what we say and how we think about everyone.  We will cross tracks with people who don’t stir up positive thoughts.  The truth to remember, I told them, is that with every negative thought or glance you create you are weaving those threads as part of who you are.  You will never damage them as much as your own hearts when you dwell on negative words or thoughts toward someone you don’t enjoy seeing.  Be in control of you, be steadfast in how you think and control yourself, choosing who you weave yourself to be, I said. 

When I drove away I prayed.  I am excited for all they can learn and experience this year.  They can develop friendships, memories and themselves.  I am sad for their disappointments, the moments they’ll be hurt or given bad influence.  I prayed for their continuous discernment as much as their safety.  When I got home I read a verse that jumped out at me.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, My Rock and My Redeemer.  Psalm 19:14

Every day is a first day of some kind.  Today I’m grateful for these words in Psalm to reassure me this effort has been long fought.  As someone else living to be the best version of you that you can intentionally be, I thought you might delight in our first day words today.

Love you.

I’m not very good at drawing.

For my fifth grader, time together and alone is the greatest of joys.  

Last night I had been reading my book quietly on the couch.  After a long day I wanted the hours to melt off me and go elsewhere in those pages.  Within a few lines of my read my youngest son walked up with a stack of scrap paper and a large library book asking if I would draw figures from the book with him.  I’m not very good at drawing but we sat poured over paper and pencils in multiple attempts.

This morning as we talked in the few minutes we share before he heads off to school I asked if the drawing book needed to go back to school.  He nodded and gave me something unexpected.  It was more than the hug and sweet whisper; it was what he said.

“Thanks for drawing with me last night,” smiled Kaden

“I don’t know I am the best person to draw with you, Sweetie.  Mommy isn’t very good at that.”

“You are the best person to draw with me.  I know that no matter how I draw you will never make fun of me and still love me.”  These were warm heartfelt true words from my sweet boy. 

I almost crushed him I squeezed him so tight!  It would be my deepest wish that he would always feel that secure in my adoration and respect for him.  I’m not very good at drawing.  I’m feeling good about the loving.

That comes in a body spray too,....

For many years I had a Fun-job at the mall.  You know what a fun-job is; a extra job you take for a time to enjoy the place and the added cash.  As a young mother who was absent from her previous career I decided it would be fun to talk to adults at the mall in one of those good smelling lotion shops  that sell soaps and candles too.  I was not a big consumer myself before working there but I had one product I’d been buying and was open to learning more. 

Soon I was immersed into smells of all kinds, learning about nutrients and moisture levels, and fragrance layering.  I fixated on every product detail and spent half (surely it was only half!) of my paycheck right there on those products.  On the holidays any family member received items in cute plastic bottles with sweet scents carefully selected for them.  This really was a fun job.

There was always a sale.  Whenever I had been in the store before as a customer I never bought the sale.  I missed out!  Check out this amazing offer I’d say, with all sincerity.  If I could help another woman get extra products for free by encouraging one more item I’d be elated.  If I helped a buyer carefully chose her gift items in a way that she could get a bonus item for her for free it was exciting.  When a guy came strolling in saying “..she wears the pink one,” in an lost and absent stare, I took the man under my wing and asked questions until we uncovered which of the three “pink” bottles she might want.  His girl wanted to be noticed and I’d grin over the chance to help him offer her that delight.

I’m not a salesperson.  I hate smarmy.  I’m not out to beat anyone, I detest crushing my co-workers goals when I hit mine; though I love to hit mine.  I’m not interested in taking anyone’s money for the sake of the sale.  I always said every lip balm was a future gift basket customer.  I hoped to never make a pressured transaction, and my goal was to enjoy the process.  More than one lady asked me; “Are you on commissioned sales?”  Taking it as a mercy flag over a filled basket I’d reply, “Wow.  No, I’m just enthusiastic about the stuff!”  I believed I wasn’t selling; I was passionate.

There were countless times was I was selling in that job.  To me I was selling the confidence I had in those products, the joy I felt in the good smelliness, the enhancement to that guy’s relationship, the treat back to the lady who wanted to buy a gift for her boss, the savings to the college student scraping by, and value to the company who was giving me a place to meet people and have fun.  Yes I sold.  I sold soaps, lotions and even candles.  I think the reason it was a fun-job though was because it wasn’t about selling.

Sometimes people will say they’re not in sales.  In my mind I think that person isn't passionate about anything to offer.  If I have a passion, a real joy for something I want to share it with you.  In the case at the mall, I happened to wear a name badge and get a smidge more than minimum wage while doing it.

Don’t be embarrassed if you like bread pudding

My mother made another bread pudding dessert for Christmas this year.  Again she stated in disbelief that she didn’t know I don’t like bread puddings.  She enjoys them and comes up with a variety of creations, most of them one of my sons relishes.  Me?  Not so much; perhaps I need sweeter.  Neither my mother nor son seems too distraught that I do not share their delight, and aside of my empty bowl I am fine with their pleasure in a dessert I simply don’t like.

One time I made a long time favorite cookie and served some to a very good friend.  She shocked me with the premises at she doesn’t like peanut butter.  What?!  That’s possible, is what I think I said aloud.  Seriously, we both laughed!  She told that sandwiches, candy bars, even cookies were not for her if they included the bitterness of peanut butter.  Wow, how different my palette would be I thought.  The key is that I never thought of my friend as wrong, or me.  I will tell the world that I am in bliss with peanut butter and fear not who disagrees. 

Somehow there are other things that people don’t feel the same way.  Why should our beliefs or opinions make us uncomfortable to share with others?  Why further do others judge or criticize people for their likes in some things?  How does public repute become the issue over sharing each other’s passions?

Have you ever hesitated to mention a speaker you are going to listen to because of fear of the other person’s political beliefs?  Have you ever  tried a new church but felt you should keep it under wraps until you were sure you were at home there?   Have you ever regretted recommending a movie when you learned someone didn’t like it?  Does your family have a certain health regiment that you keep quiet because your friends would think it unusual and you don’t want to be dissuaded?  You aren’t alone.  I don’t know why people feel this way, but many do.

Reputation is the general opinions widely held about a person.   I wonder why it is the others’ views of a person that weighs more to them than what they themselves view of themselves.  To be a light I cannot hide.  To be of influence I need to be open to someone else’s sentiments or I won’t grow.   I want to be intentional about letting you know what I am passionate about, and I think it takes conviction of character to not worry about others negatively receiving my passions. 

Sweet, Salty, Sour, or Bitter we all have our taste for things.  I hope that I allow myself to have a taste for a variety of choices, give myself permission to try new things and not hide them from people who may find delight in the sameness I would have never known about.

This isn’t practice, it’s time to play.

I made a great comparison the other day and had to write to share it with you.  I was at the grocery store when I had the pleasure of meeting up with a lady I used to be acquainted with more often.  We caught up quickly, talking about our experiences and somehow she mentioned a recent sermon message that triggered her to ponder why some people grow over time and others do not. 

I untangled my words to express what I perceived was the problem.  The average person doesn’t push themselves toward excellence and many aren’t applying growth in their faith.  It was then I pulled up a metaphor. 

As a mother of swimmers I can often find a reference there!  You know the boys have been swimming a long time.  They have been to more than one coach and have seen progress over the years.  How silly would it appear if after half dozen years they weren’t improving, right?  I remember a time when my son mentioned that most youth show up to practice and they “phone it in”.  You know, they just do the drills without extraordinary efforts.  My son has already observed that a large percentage of the team will bust out all strength at the events but do little more than participate at practices.  I was reading in a Maxwell book that he’d had a basketball coach tell him you will play like you practice. 

Isn’t that much like a walk in faith?  Some people go to church and give every ounce of who they desire to become while there at church.  When they serve on a team for their church they are fully focused on pleasing the same Lord they dishonored yesterday.  Are not many people forgetting to apply the principles to all their lives trying to pursue excellence at all the times?  It’s like they know how to be good Christians at church but phone in their faith the rest of the week.  How will they develop and grow that way?  How can they truly see how they aren’t growing if they compartmentalize their faith?  I read in a Woodward book that the famous coach, John Wooden, believed it was the effort that determined the success.  That to “phone it in”, as my teenager put it would be to rob yourself of the growth.  If we don’t apply what we can do all the time, how will we grow?

I suddenly recognize that the true progression in faith needs to be with the integrity to be who we are learning to be all the time.  Never phone it in, for your own progress is what will be missed.  The bright eyed lady I was talking with nodded her head in affirmation, but said aloud “That really is the struggle.”  The truth is I think I used to think it was the other way around.  If I could have growth on Sunday then I’d be better all week.  I have come to learn that if I work at it all week I will have more growth on Sunday.  In my faith, I will see it all as the play and never just a practice.