Real leaders are felt

When you were the boss it felt like a team, I was recently told by one of my former employees.  I was so thankful for his words and was proud to have had a chance to work with many great people like this man.  Don’t worry I’m not about to write about how wonderful of a manager I was and make this about how missed I must be.  Actually there was one key word that he said that made me want to share it with my oldest son.

Look again at what had been said: it felt like a team.  He described my leadership in the tangible sense.  The atmosphere felt cohesive when I was the leader.  The greatest way to successfully lead people is to have them willing to follow you.  Owning the business, having a familiar last name, or having the most seniority does not establish criteria for a leader.  I worked intentionally to grow and lead a team and not to act like a positional manager.

This week my son realized he was a leader on the sports team.  One of the teammates asked him why he wasn’t the team captain when clearly he was the team leader.  With frustration my son came to me for advice on what to say to these kinds of remarks.  As he explained why the other young man appears to fall short as the leader, I asked if any feelings of resentment were being juggled.  My son admitted he was wrestling with a few mixed emotions. 

We talked for a while and he decided he’d rather be the leader others follow than the title without merit.  Unfortunately too many people would rather rest on their position than attempt to lead people who have the sense they are worthy and significant. 

So to my son and to you today, I suggest we gratefully accept the affirmation of our actions well done and do what leaders do best; refer back to why our teammate makes us stronger with praise.